As I write this, I am completely full of shock, disgust and shame. Ashamed at the state of our Ummah and how far we ,as Muslims have fallen. I take no pleasure in writing this, but what needs to be said, needs to be said. We need to stop sweeping pertinent issues (especially issues that concern women) under the carpet. We need to raise our children with better values and set excellent examples for them.
I walked up the steps into the mosque to pick up my son from his Sunday Arabic school as I have been doing for the past eight weeks or so. It was slightly crowded as usual with mums and dads waiting for their children to be sent out to them. As we all waited patiently, a man asked (rudely) one of the teachers to send his daughter out to him. She urged him to be patient and that his child will be with him soon. He wasn’t having it and he decided to shove past the women and children who were on the line. As he got to the door, the teacher urged him to wait for his turn. He completely ignored her, pushed her out of his way and went inside the prayer hall to pick up his daughter. I was in shock. As was everyone, including the teacher he had shoved out of his way. She voiced her displeasure at being treated in this manner, and this man responded by shushing, yes! shushing her. A full grown woman, someone’s wife, a Muslim woman!
On his way out, he walked past me and I couldn’t hold my disgust in any more. I said to him, “that was very rude of you. you can’t do that to people, especially not in the mosque”. He responded by shushing me as well. Completely irritated now, I told him his behaviour was completely shameful and unacceptable. He came towards me, picked up his daughter’s shoes, got in my face and said “If you say one more word, I will slap you with these shoes”. See, by now I was starting to feel scared, but, I wasn’t going to stand there and let this Neanderthal intimidate me. So I said to him, “You dare not. My husband is downstairs and you will regret you ever threatened his wife”. This is true by the way; you come at me or my kids, and my husband will check you. Anyway, he walked away and he said “Go and call him, and see if he will touch me”.
While all this was happening, another teacher came out to remind him that he was in the Mosque and she also reprimanded him. Even though this was a pretty disgusting and shameful act, what disgusted me even more was the fact there were about four other men who stood by and watched while this man behaved abominably in the presence of women and children, and in the house of Allah no less! It was the women who stood up to this bully while able-bodied men stood by and folded their arms! What a complete shame.
How sad is the state of our Ummah that you can’t even trust the man standing next to you in prayer to protect your family in your absence. How far have we strayed from the beautiful teachings of this religion? When my husband heard this, he was LIVID and kicking himself for being downstairs while someone was doing this to his wife. He will be taking it up with the Mosque Committee and he will not rest until this ‘brother’ is reprimanded for his actions. If you know a man who acts like this, do everything in your power to advise and remind him of the teachings of Islam. If you are a man who acts like this; Shame on you! Set better examples for your children. To the wonderful men out there, including my wonderful husband , who treat women with the utmost respect and are setting great examples for their children, kudos to you and Maa shaa Allah.
I feel very fearful for the woman or women in this man’s life and I pray that he learns the error of his ways and asks Allah for forgiveness. If you are a young lady looking to get married, please do a lot research and find out everything you can about that man who is asking for your hand. Don’t get caught up in all the feels. Domestic violence is real and it is happening in the Muslim community. Violence, in any form, has no place in our religion and especially not towards women. To us parents out there, please let’s be better role-models for our children. A Muslim home should have a zero tolerance policy towards violence of any kind. Teach Show young boys and girls that it is never okay to be violent to people, but also teach show them to stand up for what is right and speak up for other people.
Suffice to say that from now on, whenever I go up to the mosque to do a drop-off or pick-up, I will be escorted by own personal security in the form of the hubster. Sad, but necessary.
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 628 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
The Prophet (saws) said: Among the Muslims the most perfect, as regards his faith, is the one whose character is excellent, and the best among you are those who treat their wives well.
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3252 Narrated by Aisha ; Abdullah ibn Abbas
Allah’s Messenger (saws) said, “The best of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my family.
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.61 Narrated by Masruq
We were sitting with ‘Abdullah bin ‘Amr who was narrating to us (Hadith). He said that the Messenger of Allah (saws) said: ‘The best among you are the best in character (having good manners).’ “
Al-Muwatta Hadith 47.8
Yahya related from Malik that he had heard that the Messenger of Allah (saws) said: “I was sent to perfect good character.”
the migrant muslimah 